Love Note to Dexter - Love Note to Christmas

from Eternal Holidaze: An Eternal Bummer Christmas Volume 1 by Eternal Bummer Records

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Twee kings of nonsense Love Note to Dexter offer up tidings of comfort and weird with their original piece “Love Note to Christmas.” The song follows a pattern of nonsensically seasonal tableaus followed by a boisterous “IT’S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!” tag at the end of each line. Choice bon mots: “Tell your mom you hate the cat,” “Punch a cop and put ‘im in a snowman,” “Snowball Santa Boyz II MEN.” The end is a bop-along rap bridge featuring a “Drops of Jupiter” reference, something called Winter Solstice Pregnant Place, and a cat mewing before bursting loose with a chant-a-long outro to warm yer winter heart. Guest starring Adria Anderson, Marije Sears-Stryker, and Comet the cat.

lyrics

Take some cherries, put 'em in your milk IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Get your coupons, buy a bunch o' nuts IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Shave your beard and put it in the tree IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Tell your mom you hate the cat IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!

Roast some pinecones drop 'em on your face IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Punch a cop and put 'im in a snowman CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Deck the halls with your roommate's hair IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Flush your phone in the festive toilet'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!

Consult a doctor 'bout your warts IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Read a book 'bout swans and forks IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Baby Jesus shotguns beers IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Snowball Santa Boyz II Men IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!

CHOCOLATE RUDOLPH GOES TO SLEEP
BLIZZARD MILKSHAKE NEAR YOUR FEET
THE FIREPLACE IS FULL OF BEES
I LOVE THE WAY YOU BEND YOUR KNEES
LITTLE DRUMMER HATE YOURSELF
ROBOT SANTA ON YOUR SHELF
SEASON'S SNOOP DOGGS WEARING PLAID
BEST SOY LATTE THAT YOU EVER HAD
TINSEL TRINKETS STOMP THE YARD
RUSSIAN FLINSTONE CANDY BAR
WINTER SOLSTICE PREGNANT PLACE
I LOST MY MIND IN SANTA SPACE
CHRISTMAS IS A TIME OF YEAR
YUP
IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!

credits

from Eternal Holidaze: An Eternal Bummer Christmas Volume 1, released December 3, 2012

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Eternal Holidaze Ontario

The Eternal Bummer Holidaze Collection, Volumes 1-4, Starring the Best Christmas Carols from Your Friends at Eternal Bummer Records. stay bummed xoxo

eternalbummer.wordpress.com

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