Eternal Holidaze: An Eternal Bummer Christmas Volume 1

by Eternal Bummer Records




Eternal Bummer Records is cheerfully proud to present/gift to you its ninth release, Eternal Holidaze: An Eternal Bummer Christmas Volume 1, for free download.

Plug in your tree, crack out the candy canes, slip on that ugly pair of pajamas you’ve left sitting at the bottom of your dresser since last season, and turn your listening ears to festive: Eternal Bummer Records has brought you its first compilation, and it’s a Christmas one! Eternal Holidaze features fourteen carols auld and new from your favourite members of the EB roster (Mikey Chuck Rivers, Amity Beach, DNSQ3, Win Chelsea, Robots! Everywhere!!, Love Note to Dexter, Great Minds) to fresh faces and long-distance friends of our festive little family. If you’re looking for a reason to break out the egg nog early, this compilation fits perfectly in your stocking, in your stereo, and under your tree. As this is the season of giving, we’re as always happy to offer this album for free download, and all we ask in return is you join in the giving and share this seasonal treat with your family and friends during this holidays. Merry Christmas from Eternal Bummer Records!


released December 3, 2012



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Eternal Holidaze Ontario

Eternal Bummer Records Presents:
HOLIDAZED: An Eternal Bummer Christmas Volume 2
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Track Name: Ivan Raczycki - A Festive Introduction
“Hello everybody. This is Ivan Raczycki here, founder, president, CEO, commissioner, publicist, high chancellor, supreme dictator, all around cool guy of Eternal Bummer Records. I’m here to formally invite you and welcome you to Eternal Holidaze: An Eternal Bummer Christmas Volume 1. I’ve had a lot of fun getting my friends together to record seasonal classics both original and new, both traditional and bizarre. Welcome to Eternal Holidaze. It was a merry joy and I hope y’all have a Merry Christmas. Stay bummed.”
Track Name: Mikey Chuck Rivers - Please Daddy (Don't Get Drunk This Christmas)
After Mikey Chuck Rivers played The Cameron House in Toronto on November 21st, he decided to take a rollicking cadre of carollers back to his place, amongst them banjo-best-bud Darren Eedens and super-mandolinist Joe Elliott (of Blaze N Murder, A Cat Named Wolf, the Mafat Conspiracy), soak them with Upper Canada Lagers and Bailey’s-spiked mugs of joe, and make them “croon” over this John Denver classic ode to bad holiday parenting.
Featuring the Upper Canada Singers: James Da Mota, Katherine DeVrieze, Sarah Rafter, Oscar Delarivierra, Darren Eedens, Joe Elliott
Track Name: Amity Beach - Snowbank Sessions
The boys in Amity Beach burrowed underground into their home basement studio to crank out their excellent Christmas original, “Snowbank Sessions.” Lyrically, we find the forever astute Geoff Baillie waxing poetic about the sometimes shallow vacuity of holiday traditions. But, in tandem with the band bouncing along in the background, our beach boys shake off their inner Scrooge, promising to “make traditions of our own.” A snowbank ain’t a sandy tide, but Amity Beach make more than do.
Track Name: Win Chelsea - A Christmas Story
This year, Win Chelsea lost half of its membership after the departure of Evan Clapp. The other half, Mister Charlie Weber, wrote this song as “a statement to the world and myself that Win Chelsea is not dead and that I will carry on in this endeavour.” His song “A Christmas Story” is a slice of Christmas kitsch, recalling the tales of three loveable holiday losers like Hermey from Rudolph, Ralphie from A Christmas Story, and Rerun from I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown overtop Weber and an unnamed alias’s own story. Charlie says, “As family, friends and as lovers we all sit down to watch our favourite movies around this holiday season, creating memories and traditions. Also, my brain is so fried from exposure to television over the past 20 years that all of my creative thought has gone out the window so I had to steal other peoples ideas in lieu of an original thought.”
Track Name: Gerardtoo Detoo - Christmas in the Doghouse
Gerard Creces, formerly of Bastid Sonz and currently of the Fiends, wrote this deranged ditty about a party animal (or junkie, depending on how you look at it) who causes an annual uproar each Christmas season, “like the time I punched my grandma when I’ze barely seventeen or the time I shot my brother ’cause he laid a pair of queens.” There’s a wonderfully demented “fa la la” refrain, the single-most festive bass solo you’ve ever heard, and more than a few cups of Christmas cheer (and pills of Christmas cheer, and syringes of Christmas Cheer, and…).
Track Name: DNSQ3 - Happy Christmas (War is Over)
EB’s resident dance-pop mavens took a tender break with their rendition of John Lennon and Yoko Ono’s classic “Happy Xmas (War is Over).” Assisted by David Creces’ wife Rae Lovie on vocals, DNSQ3 carried their synthetic elements overtop beautifully-picked acoustic guitar that covers your body much like a warm fireplace does after a hearty bout of tobogganing. Fitting, then, that DNSQ3 recorded this rendition in their PJs. From DNSQ3:
A very merry xmas and a happy new year – let’s hope it’s a good one without any fear.
Track Name: Tower 608 - O Holy Night
Tower 608 is a trio of Queens University music education students who got together to record this yuletide classic in Suite 608 of their apartment complex Princess Towers (get it?). Featuring Zurich resident Jillien Regier along with her pals Adam Grydzan (The Ize) and Jacob Bryce, their “O Holy Night” is a gorgeous take on the tune, easing their voices into delicious bouts of three-part harmony, backed by gently-strummed acoustic guitar and surging synths. This is the stuff Christmas memories are made of.
Track Name: Gangrene and Blue - Binders Full of Christmas
“Here We Come A-wassailing” this ain’t: the noise/art-rap duo of N. Alexander Armstrong and Devon Marinac have concocted possibly the most eerie Christmas carol ever put to tape, like David Lynch slowly strangling the Bing Crosby’s holiday canon. Admittedly, N. Alexander said Marinac’s stream-of-consciousness subject matter is “less about Christmas and more about hating intellectuals,” but put this on with a mug of hot cocoa after a 2AM viewing of How the Grinch Stole Christmas! and everything starts to make a little more sense. Easter egg: the end of the track features EB’s Ivan Raczycki passing out while playing guitar.
Track Name: RaZr SpaYd && the Wyqqid Glitch of da WeST - O gLiTcHmAs TReE (O tAnNeN-o-BoMbA 2012)
Skrillex, Super Mario, and Santa soaring through the galaxy with a fleet of robot reindeer: that’s how I’ll describe RaZr SpaYd && the Wyqqid Glitch of da WeST’s take on the classic “O Christmas Tree.” The team of Guitärmönies’ Matthew Karas and his pal Kirk Mason put together over fifty tracks, including autotuned cowbell and banjo plucks, to create this massive monster of a Christmas carol. It consistently blows my mind every single time I hear it, which is a rarity for any seasonal song offering. Incredible.
Track Name: Great Minds - This Is It, Don’t Get Scared Now (ft. John Williams, Ghostface Killa, G-Dep, Paul Williams, Kermit the Frog)
Anonymous mash-up supervillain Great Minds assembled this beast of a Christmas feast. Melding together the scores of Home Alone and A Muppet’s Christmas Carol (by John Williams and Paul Williams, respectively) and dropping verses from Wu-Tang Clan’s Ghostface Killah and the recently-convicted G-Dep makes for a weird Christmas pill to swallow. But, if you played this over the loudspeakers at Masonville Mall in prime holiday shopping season, you’d suddenly get the picture. Even Kermit the Frog can’t hide from Great Minds’ apocalypse-pop.
Track Name: Love Note to Dexter - Love Note to Christmas
Take some cherries, put 'em in your milk IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Get your coupons, buy a bunch o' nuts IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Shave your beard and put it in the tree IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Tell your mom you hate the cat IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!

Roast some pinecones drop 'em on your face IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Punch a cop and put 'im in a snowman CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Deck the halls with your roommate's hair IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Flush your phone in the festive toilet'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!

Consult a doctor 'bout your warts IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Read a book 'bout swans and forks IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Baby Jesus shotguns beers IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!
Snowball Santa Boyz II Men IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!!11!!

Track Name: Robots! Everywhere!! - Christmas Hangover
Our pal Phil “PHIL! PHIL! PHIL!” Castiglione of Robots! Everywhere!! knows how to have a good time. His carol “Christmas Hangover” shows that even the most wonderful time of the year has its setbacks if you get a little too rowdy. Phil paints a picture of youthful ebullience: staying up all Christmas Eve with your brother doing push-ups till you puke and drinking with “Uncle Ivan,” until Christmas day comes ’round and your head throbs so sore you want to hang your brother from the curtains. So if you double up on yer egg-nog, make sure to follow that up with some aspirin, or you’ll get caught “hungover on, hungover on, hungover on Christmas.”
Track Name: Stuck Out Here - Christmas Lights
“What a sad Christmas song,” Stuck Out Here’s Cam Laurie remarks at the end of their take on Paul Baribeau’s “Christmas Lights.” He’s certainly right: lyrically, the song takes depressing nosedive after depressing nosedive into the bluest of Blue Christmas territory. However, their rendition, featuring plaintive piano plucks from drummer Patrick Armstrong, fits perfectly with band themes of homecoming and home-leaving, and what better time to contemplate all this life-moving-and-shaking than when you’re snuggled up at home for Christmas, whether it’s in your childhood bed or the pull-out couch ’cause dad turned your room into his man cave.
Track Name: Hanora - Three Wreaths
Straight from Ivan Raczycki’s fingers: “For five years, I released five annual Christmas albums under my solo nom de plume Hanora for a series called Hanora for the Holidays. Last year, life took its turns and time tore the tradition away for a season. Christmas has always been about family for me, and over the course of those five albums, I had the great opportunity to invite all different types of family to guest on these holiday cuts, including many artists involved with this project. It seemed fitting now to expand the project to the extended Eternal Bummer family, and I couldn’t be more proud of it. This track is from number 3 in the series, Hanora, Once Again, for the Holidays. The first verse, depicting the festive scene on display in the heart of downtown Clinton, was written by my dad Jan Raczycki. Merry Christmas everybody.”

There's a strand of lights in the shape of a tree
At the junction of 4 & 8
And when they're up and all lit
It's time to celebrate

I want three wreaths hanging
For each door on my house
And five sets of lights around my tree
I'm up at six in the morning
And by seven, I'm asleep
Comfortably held between my three wreaths

The circuit swirls snowflakes down from the sky
Until they rest upon our cheeks
And from the stores where we dump our change
The snowfall just won't cease

I want three wreaths hanging for each door on my house
And five sets of lights around my tree
I'm up at six in the morning
And by seven, I'm asleep
Comfortably held between my three wreaths

A small winter smell sweeps in from my window
I can see my tired body laying next to the fire's glow
Blankets all curled, I unfurl with the stockings
It's quiet and calm, only the snowflakes are talking

Candy cane pillars adorning my porch
With footprints cluttering the scene
Every snow scuff a mark from the people I love
Carolling and visiting me

And my three wreaths hanging
For each door on my house
And five sets of lights around my tree
I'm up at six in the morning
And by seven, I'm asleep
Comfortably held between my three wreaths
I've got cold feet
From clutching close the blankets for too long
My sister's up, so we run down to the tree
We're up at six in the morning
'Cause we just can't stay asleep
Comfortably held between my three wreaths